They may even badmouth you to others and avoid you.” Try to encourage them to seek supportĮven if they admit to lying, they may not realize how often they lie or see it as indicative of a larger problem, says Zrenchik. Even though this doesn’t apply to everyone, “If you try to confront them with evidence and proof of the facts, they may be outraged, insulted, and attack you verbally. If things get heated, don’t be afraid to disengage, says Irwin. “But do so with no expectation of enlightening or changing them and encouraging them to tell the truth.” Try to be prepared for a confrontation “Let them know where you stand and set a boundary for your own self-respect,” says Irwin. With composure and calm, try to explain how you feel. If you sense you’re being lied to, it’s OK to limit interactions. “They may live in a world of their own reality or truth, which is simply what they need at the moment: a partner, an accomplishment, a deal.” Try to set healthy boundaries The only thing that matters may be ‘winning,’ such as an argument, a lawsuit, or a disagreement,” she says. The ‘truth’ may be a foreign concept to them. “They may not think in the same terms as you do. If possible, try to give up any expectation that you’ll make them see the truth, or admit you’re right and they’re wrong, says Irwin. Instead, hold firm to what you know to be true and allow the other person to disagree,” he says. “You may be tempted to question what you believe to be true, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. When someone lies frequently and believes what they say, it can look sincerely honest, says Zrenchik. Try to stay grounded in your sense of reality It can be confusing, frustrating, and traumatic to be constantly lied to, but there are ways to cope. “They more than likely were abused, but surely were emotionally neglected and heavily criticized.” “Typically, they grow up in environments where they learned early on that they are not good enough, that being a flawed human being is unacceptable,” she says. Nancy Irwin, a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. It may have developed as a coping mechanism to help someone get their needs met, says Dr. narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): may tend to lie to get something out of someone else, preserve a false sense of self, get out of trouble, or bolster others’ perceptions of themįor some, pathological lying may also be linked to childhood trauma.factitious disorder or Munchausen syndrome by proxy: may lie to appear sick or have someone in their care appear sick.borderline personality disorder (BPD): may tend to lie to avoid rejection or abandonment.antisocial personality disorder (ASPD): may tend to lie for status, resources, or sympathy.Some mental health conditions may be associated with patterns of pathological lying. “Researchers are still trying to determine if the brain of a pathological liar forms differently from that of someone who is a ‘normal liar,’” says Zrenchik. The cause of pathological lying isn’t established, as the research is limited. “One study reported that about 13% of people identified themselves as pathological liars,” says Zrenchik.
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